August 7, 2012

Nina Agdal: Topless Bikini Photos Via Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition

Nina Agdal looks so happy to be half naked, she must be happy to be completely naked too. At all times. These are Nina's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition pictures. The only way these photos could be any hotter would be if she were completely naked and covered in chocolate, whip cream and my jizz.

Cassie Nude Photo

Cassie is the bronze beauty who has allegedly been having sex with P.Diddy for years. Like, she could have (and should have) already dated a baseball team worth of men but she's been hooked to Diddy for some reason. It's pretty sad because, as you can see, Cassie is pretty hot and talented. Hotness is a talent. It's God given.

Evelyn Lozada: Hot in Maxim?

Evelyn Lozada is now Mrs. Chad Ochocinco and she posed for Maxim magazine, flaunting her frightening abs. Evelyn looks too buff here. I just don't like what I'm seeing. Now her ass can be as rock hard as she wants it to be, but her stomach shouldn't be. Sorry girlfriend, but I think I'll have to just go ahead and let one of my friends bang you. Just know that I'll be asking him for details.

Minka Kelly: Hot in Lingerie

Esquire magazine named Minka Kelly its Sexiest Woman Alive in 2010. Minka is gorgeous and she deserved it. She's flawless and she'd probably make some gorgeous babies. So Minka, I'd just like to offer up my wang if you'd like to have kids one day. I'll be happy to get you preggers. You don't have to pay me and I won't even stick around to help you raise it and shit because I don't wanna be in the way.

August 6, 2012

Slutty College Girl Sports Fans

I like hot girls, I like sports, I like tits and I like football. The only thing these photos are missing is beer and pizza, but I'll take 'em. I'll just get these chicks to fetch me some beer while I eat pizza off their tits. We'll call it even since I'm guessing they may interrupt at some point while I'm watching the game. They won't mind. You can tell these are the kinds of girls who want to have sex because they're feminists and don't believe in wasting birth control.

Photos via Total Pro Sports

Rihanna Bikini Pics: Because They're So Hot

Whenever Rihanna gets in a bikini, bloggers and readers around the world rejoice. Her body is banging, her ass and thighs are cellulite free, she looks like she's having a great time and she's thick in all the right places and fit as hell in others. If she retired tomorrow and just hit the beach everyday her fans wouldn't even miss her music. They'd be too busy rubbing one out and writing thank you notes on Twitter.

Kim Kardashian: Blast From Her Booty's Past

There once was a time when Kim Kardashian was walking around with caterpillar eyebrows and sisters that no one knew about and a mom no one hated. Then Kim used Paris Hilton, building a name for herself, dropping her bestie as quickly as she drops her panties for black guys. Years ago Kimmy Kardashian was thicker, ass and all. So let's take a look back on the booty that once was.

August 5, 2012

Christina Aguilera: Topless Seduction

Christina Aguilera used to be smoking hot. We will all remember where we were when we first watched her "Dirrrty" music video. She was greased up and dirty and wearing chaps and a bikini and we were left wanting to get into video production somehow so that we could make girls get nearly naked and dance around while we watched in the background. During Christina's hot days she posed for Maxim. Like the Mariah Carey "Cribs" episode put that series on the map, Xtina's Maxim photos made men subscribe to the magazine.